Dog Haiku

I love my master,
thus I perfume myself with
this long-dead squirrel.

I lie belly-up
in the sun, happier than
you will ever be...

Many dog behinds
I sniffed today. I rejoice
by kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy come to kill us!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
whiz on each bush. Other dogs
will sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
my hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic that
I make a puddle!

I hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, chin on
your foot. No greater bliss - well,
maybe catching rats...

Cat is not all bad.
She fills the litter box with
little Tootsie Rolls!

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
now, always, and especially
When you are eating...

As my owners kiss,
I lie here next to their feet
and fart a big one...

You cannot deny.
No human could ever love
you as much as I.