The Shar-Pei Forums-Health Behavior Diet & Rescue Info and Discussion Group

Thank you. I just came in from lighting tea lights in The Resting Garden (just a few in holders, on concrete and sitting on a tray). I also took my big shell and burned the hand picked cedar, lavender and white cedar hand gathered for Sugar by my dear Choctaw friend, Teresa. She has been very kind and has sent twice, from California. The horses love the aroma and stand with their heads over the fence for a better smell. We tend The Resting Garden every day - or we did until Sugar became so ill and needed her treatments. And then the storms came and limbs were broken and hanging over The Resting Garden. When Sugar left us to rest beside her good friend, Roel, we started again with another spring clean-up. It is a place that evolves. When I see what I think will add to the peacefulness of the garden and honor our loved ones - something new is added.

Bonnie

Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

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And my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Thank you.

It is very lonely here. Everybody mourning for Sugar Bear.

Our best wishes.
Bonnie

Bonnie, what a beautiful sacred place you have created for Sugar bear and Roel, I know the void, the sorrow, the devastation you are feeling, I wish i could somehow brighten your days, and take the pain away, there is no easy solution, i can tell you that as much as i miss my girls i know they are no longer having any bad days, no more nausea etc... and that brought a sense of relief/peace, i tried everything i could for my peibies, and to be honest it was killing me emotionally during the times they would start to decline, i would pray God would let them die in their sleep, when they did cross over i felt it was a blessing because i knew there was nothing more i could do but "wait" for that day, i knew no miracle cure was going to come as they deteriorated before my eyes, as hard as it was to lose them, i'm comforted by knowing they are well on the other side, but i do miss them more then anything and would give up all i own to have them back with me, healthy again! when i'm laid to rest my pets will be right beside me for eternity, i see my girls faces so vividly, i accidently call my remaining shar pei by the wrong names at times, i cry listening to love songs because they make me think of my girls, there is nothing i want more then to reach heaven and be reunited with my 'kids' i know you feel the same way, time can go by so slowly, please try to go somewhere new, a new experience, you and Mike need to take care of yourselves before the emotional stress causes physical problems, I dont want either of you to end up in the hospital. Sugar bear is watching you from above and knows your love for her is everlasting, but she does not want to see you both suffering like this. we're all very concerned. xoxo

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Thank you for your care and concern for us. Nobody doing well here. And Tui (half Pei) grieves on, just as she did for Roel and now for Sugar Bear. She visited The Resting Garden yesterday. Mike a little better this a.m., but physically ill yesterday, due to grief. I took my sleep meds last night and fell over onto the pillow and slept until 2:30, woke up as clear as a bell and got up and fixed myself a bowl of cereal. Finally went back to bed, but this morning makes one week without The Bear. And we both woke up in tears. Dr. Tintle called yesterday to check on all. It would appear that Sugar's care led her to live longer than most who suffer the complexities of Shar Pei health problems and after diagnosis of kidney failure - Sugar lived considerably longer than most. The Shar Pei world is a mess. So many health issues and so many losing their precious lives to kidney disease or some other disease that ravages the body. It is beyond heart breaking. And Pei are different. Different personalities than other breeds, so I could write on and on, but what could I tell anybody on this forum who has lost their precious Pei? Our hearts are broken. I just want to believe that Roel & Sugar have been reunited. Very hard day here.
Time may heal to a degree, but the love and missing never stop. We burn tea lights in The Resting Garden every night and all solar lighting keeps the glowing for some hours. Sjoerd & Marten watch over the garden. Some times it looks as if the big Friesians are standing guard.

Bonnie

Bonnie and Mike, I am sending prayers of comfort and peace for your mind and soul. For this dark period to pass and your heart, mind and souls to be lightened from the burden of grief. Replaced with gratitude and happy memories for the life you shared with Sugar Bear.

When I was in my darkest place after my Raphael passed a friend sent me this prayer called "Afterglow".

"I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one, I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun of happy memories that I leave behind when day is done."

I read this poem many times a day, memorized it and repeated it when I sank into despair. Raphael would not want me to be a shell of the person I was. He would want me to smile and be thankful for the time we had.

Lulu the Lovebug is right, Sugar Bear would not want you to dwell in this pain. You must believe that. Hold on tight to each other.

We are all here for you.

I will save this poem, copy and send to Mike's computer for printing and frame. THANK YOU. I just wish we could stop crying. The missing is terrible - beyond terrible, as you know. And our sad, sad Tui (half Pei - looks Pei). She is mourning as much as we are.

Bonnie

Raffiolio, that is a beautiful poem. Bonnie, without you, Mike and Dr. Tintle Sugar bear never would have made it to 5, you gave her the gift of more time, and I know we never want that time to run out, what a lucky girl she was to have recieved the best care and so much love, she had a life many dogs can only dream of. and i believe she is still very much there with you. it makes me cry to see how heartbroken you both are. sending hugs your way. xxoo

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I, too, feel Sugar's Spirit. Why else would I wake up as I've been doing. Not sure why certain changes have taken place. I've often heard it said that "the Spirit lingers" and checks on the family. I wonder.

Bonnie

Bonnie, As i was driving home tonight a song came on the radio, and i knew i had to share this one with you, it touched my heart and hope it touches yours. xo
http://youtu.be/fIAQCiMIEEQ

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Tears and more tears. The song is lovely and appropriate, because we wonder, don't we.
I wish I had the answsers. I try to be positive in my thoughts. The missing of The Bear has a haunting quality.

Bonnie

xoxo

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Up early and off to Hungtinton (almost a 4 hr round trip). I dropped Mike off at St Mary's while I went to Cabell Huntington Hospital. Two family members - Mike's mother and a member of my family both in critical condition. It would take a miracle for either to survive.

By the time we got home, we were more sorrowful than ever and I was feeling tired. Took a nap and dreamed of Sugar. Our girl has left us just over one week ago, but I see her everywhere. She loved her home and had all her special places. And then I remembered when she started becoming very ill in the spring, The Bear was unable to walk up or down two stairs that leads into the living room. I had to help her. This was one of our first shocks.

I feel nothing but sorrow for all who have tried so hard for those they love, while watching their health completely fail.

I dream of Sugar almost every night. I think I've only missed one night, since we lost our girl.

Sadness all around.

Bonnie

Bonnie, i'm so sorry to hear two loved ones are in critical condition, you certainly are having a stressful time right now. i know the loss of Sugar bear has taken a terrible toll on you both, when you asked me how i've been able to cope with my losses, i can tell you that i dont think i really have coped with losing my girls, i just get up each day and carry on because i have to, and i have bouts of severe depression, i constantly buy things because i think it will help me fill a void, but it doesnt....... my other pets help me get through the days and nights. you're in my thoughts and prayers, i will also say a prayer for your family members who are ill. xo

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Prayers you will find peace in knowing you did everything possible and in doing so have helped so many pei's and pei parents

I'm always telling everyone how much the support of this forum has meant to us.
Again - Sugar Bear's life depended on finding the Chinese Shar Pei Forum and Dr. Tintle.

And now my question is: Why has a Shar Pei puppy mill been allowed to cause so much suffering for so many Pei (and loss of life) and so much suffering for their people (financially, too) for so very many years, when a report to the right people might have/could have/should have shut them down years ago? I am reminded of a BBC documentary of several years ago that exposed the U.K. champion dog (and owner) of producing medically complex puppies sold for significant sums, while the owners were spending countless thousands of dollars in medical bills in an attempt to save their dogs' lives. The attempted cover-up was in place, but the BBC exposed all.

Let us all think on this question, because very many members here (and their precious Pei) have been victimized. Yet - the operation continues.
This is wrong.

Bonnie

Yes it has been a very tough time here and our Pei and us are very, very far from the only victims.

LETTERS AND MORE LETTERS ABOUT DISHONEST BREEDERS AND "NO FSF IN THEIR LINES". RESULTS: PEI PEOPLE LOSE THEIR DOGS, AFTER DOING ALL WITHIN THEIR POWER TO SAVE THEIR PRECIOUS PEI LIFE. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BROADEN OUR FOCUS, I THINK.

Hi Bonnie, my name is Reina and i just lost my 5 yr.old cheyenne to kidney failure. I feel so sad and that i should have tried harder to save her. She was on fluids since march and on aug. 13th we let her rest. Her little body was tired but it is so hard living without her. She was so loving, i keep thinking that if i gave her more fluids and forced fed her she would have energy and would improve. It is just so painful, so reading your posts help me. Thanks